Gorgeous spring....

well, we had ONE nice day of weather this weekend. Simply gorgeous. Sunny, warm, breezy, blue skies. I spent some time working in the yard, and then sitting on the deck with a glass of Chilean Sauvignon Blanc, admiring the tulips that are blooming in every corner of the garden. I need to find the camera and post a couple of photos. I don't even know if I planted these tulips or if they've been here every year. E thinks he might have planted them. We need to keep better track of these things. Half the time when I'm weeding, I have to look at a plant coming up and wonder, now are you something I planted six months ago or are you a weed? I had a whole batch of weeds that I need to take out the other day because three weeks ago when they started popping up, I couldn't remember if I'd planted something there or not.

e's wedding gift to me is hiring a landscaper to take out the butterfly bush and grass under the apple tree and put in raised vegetable beds. I'm so excited about this.

This freaking election.

One of our cats (the one that has clearly lost her mind in the last three weeks - more on that later) took a big poo right in the middle of the laundry room last night (three feet away from her sparkling clean litter box). eBoy was making all sorts of disgusting sounds, but I think she was just stating her opinion on the current state of the democratic party and the current election.

I have been, for the first time in my adult life, an Undecided Voter as far as the democratic candidates. I've always opined that Undecided Voters must be simply obtuse and uninformed - but in this case, I have to say, I really could give a shit whether it's Obama or Clinton. (Just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm not undecided between _________ (fill in the blank Democrat) and McCain - I still don't understand folks that are undecided that way. I mean, that sort of "undecided" just indicates not having a single clue about your opinion on things. I'm not judgin', I'm just sayin'. Well...actually, I'm judgin'.)

As I said to my extremely pro-Israel, extremely Republican (sigh) father in law over the weekend: if you've been forced to drink sour, rancid, curdled, maggoty milk for the last 8 years, and then someone offers you fresh, clean, drinkable milk, are you REALLY going to give a shit whether it's 1% or 2% fat?

And then my father in law, who is usually somewhat insane, but is usually a very nice man, stated "Well, Obama is just telling people what they want to hear. And I'll tell you, there was another politician in world history that just told people what they wanted to hear.....you know what I'm saying?"

And I said, well, yes, Reagan did that for years - telling people that things were great while he totally ruined our economy and created a military state that continues to.....

And he interrupts me and says meaningfully : no, no, no. I'm saying a World Leader, a historical World Leader that told people what they wanted to hear...

zOMG, I thought. You're really going there. Hitler? really? You're comparing Obama to Hitler??

Oh for the love of crap. Seriously?

And you know if he's sayin' it, then there are others out there making that sort of spurious connection. That's INSANE. I mean, I think there's a BIT of a difference between "Yes We Can" and "Throw the Jew down the Well." Jesus mother of pusbucket gravy! I mean really.

Thankfully, the rest of my new family considers my father in law's political leanings to be just to the crazy side of batshit. Whickety Whack.

Anyway, Obama or Clinton. Whichever. Just make a decision and stop bashing each other and start going after McCain. Since I'm not going to get to have either Kucinich or Edwards in the White House (my actual preferences), then let's just get on with this. Because right now, McCain's practically being tongue-bathed by the press and I'm sick of it.

And so is my cat.

What I Ate For Lunch Today and You Call Your Patients Wackos

I'm starting two new blogs. One is going to be food/diet, exercise, marathon-training, and WW focused. The other will be clinical psych/neuro psych /gradschool focused. You can access them by scrolling down on my profile if you're interested.

Smiling maniacally will continue, but will probably just be focused on my thoughts about the weather and something funny I saw on Herman's Head last night.

We're back! It's 39 degrees here!

Well, obviously in this picture, it was about 85 degrees. God DAMN, when the hell is spring coming to Oregon?

Anyway - we're home, we're married, we're thrilled, I've got a killer tan, and I have spent the last two weeks sittin' around Aruba drinking my weight in Mai-tais. God bless America.

We had a fantastic time all around - well except that time I slammed the rental car door closed on my thumb. That was an exciting evening. I haven't lost the nail quite yet, but it's turned all sorts of interesting fall-like colors. Deep blues and burgundies, accented by deep shades of purple and gold. And I cried. I wept like Mark on The Biggest Loser and everyone stood around wondering what "medical care" on Aruba might entail.

Aruba is one weird freaking island. More on that later, but suffice it to say that it is the Tucson of the Caribbean.

So here are some links. I'll post more later, plus a write up of our time there.

Our photographer

e's blog - this has photos from the civil ceremony, the wedding, and sittin' around drinking.

Enjoy.

I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!

OMFG - international edition

Jeez! We're off for Aruba today. I had so many dreams last night that I forgot about our departure today and went in to work and everyone was asking, um what are you doing here?

As if!!

eboy wants me to wear my veil on the plane so that we can get "free stuff" everywhere we go. I don't really think that works like that.

Anyway - Cheers and thanks for all your best wishes and such. I can't believe this day is finally here! So - some of you I'll see in Aruba. I'll be the one with the margarita helmet.

(I haven't decided whether I'm carting my laptop down there. So there may be drunken posts with indiscriminate photos at 2:00am. Woot!)

Heh. I'm all married and shit.

Only without the euphoric paranoia.....

You know that scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta is all coked out, and rushing around town doing drug-smuggling related errands, but he also has to get home to stir the pasta sauce and pick the babysitter up at the airport, all the while being shadowed by a DEA helicopter? That was me today.

First I have to get to the gym, then I have to get home and shower, then it's back and over to weight watchers, but then I have to leave there because we have a meeting with Sam Adams (next mayor of Portland, officiating at our legal ceremony on Sunday - thank you!), but before that, since I haven't had a bite to eat since like tuesday, need to do starbucks drivethrough and pick up coffee and a spinach feta wrap (5 points), and then downtown to city hall, and then we're out of there, and I have to drive half an hour to pick up my wedding band (squee!) and then another half hour back downtown to get my haircut and highlighted, and then up to Nob Hill to pick up my wedding gown (double squee), and then over to my office where I have to put together two weeks' worth of counseling topics for my various groups, conduct an hour of therapy with a human box of kleenex, then another two hours of group therapy, and then bang, pack up the car, and head back home so I can finally kick back with a bottle of non-alcohol wine (still on 100 doh) and catch up on the last five days of jon stewart before rushing to bed, nap nap nap, up again at seven, off to my weekend training run, then another stop by the gym for some upper body weights, and then it's over to WEIGHT WATCHERS (yea, remember them?) so I can set up the new meeting location, and then after doing that for two hours, I have to take eBoy shopping because apparently he doesn't feel comfortable taking himself shopping for pants and underwear.

This would all be a lot easier if I had an eightball.

What the hell is wrong with my mother?

In a sure sign of positive things to come, I opened up the drapes this morning and began singing a favorite childhood song.

It's raining, it's pouring,
the old man is snoring
he went to bed
and bumped his head
and was dead in the morning!

eBoy is just staring at me like I have a corkscrew winding out of my nose.

Um, he says, the line is he went to bed and bumped his head and COULDN'T GET UP UNTIL MORNING.



Again, what the hell is wrong with my mother? Why does my family sing such a gruesome version of the song?

****************

In totally unrelated news, I had a dream last night that my father, MaMere, and I were all trying to hide my sister's dead body.

Some things you don't want to explore too deeply. But the real question is, is it wrong for me to email my sister and tell her that I had this dream? Hey, how're you doin? I had a dream you were dead and Dad, Mer and I were all trying to stash your body under the house. Whaddya think it means?

An actual conversation this morning.

Me: I know that there's an election going on, and the economy is in a tail-spin, and that terrible things are happening in Darfur...but have I mentioned that my wedding shoes are PERFECT??**

eBoy: What are the terrible things happening in Darfur?

Me: Um...people are dying?

eBoy: What people?

Me: Um...the Hutus?

eBoy: Nice try, that's 1994.

Me: Um...the Darfurians?

eBoy: It's Darfuristas.



**They are, they are. They are so goddamn perfect with matching pink sequins* and I bought them off the internets and I can't believe how perfect they are or how much I'm totally fixated on how perfect they are.

* This is also true. Although he hasn't seen the dress yet, eBoy is horrified that I purchased something with pink sequins on it and shudders every time I mention it.

Last week, last chance.....

There is the very distinct possibility that the "Event Planner" that I'm working with at the wedding site is an idiot. I have made a promise to eBoy and basically to my entire wedding party, that I will not FREAK OUT and become SUPER INTENSE in my quest to make every goddamn thing Absolutely Perfect during this trip.

In fact, I have gotten a refill on my klonopin prescription, and I just plan on being chill no matter what goes wrong and what sort of mayhem ensues. I am marrying someone who is a Problem Solver, and I also have a Bridesmale who solves disasters and soothes ruffled feathers for a living. So I think while they go off to slam the event planner's head in a car door, I can relax by the pool with my other Bridesmale whose job it will be to keep my IV drip full of pomegranate martinis.

But lest you think I'm just so relaxed that clearly an impostor has taken over this website, I will admit that I'm now living on scrambled egg whites and going to the gym twice a day. Ctrl-freak, of all people, feels that this is overkill, but I assured him that copious amounts of self tanner would nicely camouflage what otherwise would be my pale, wan, saggy, crepey exterior.

One week people.