Well now I know who to blame for the hairballs....

For the first time in 16 years, I only have one cat. She seems to be adjusting well, but she still waits 15 minutes to eat after I put food down (Abigail always used to eat first), and she's still sleeping downstairs even though I've left the kitchen door open. But at least I know whose paw prints are all over the kitchen table in the morning (bleah) and who leaves me vomitous deposits near the back door.

Ah pets...how clean my home would be without you.

I want to thank everyone who sent their sympathies and words of support. It was really nice of you - especially considering that most of you had a rather shall we say "contentious" relationship with Abigail. I will always fondly remember Abigail actually driving El Jefe out of my home at 3am, and how Xt used to say "Hello Abigail" in the same way one might greet one's intensely aloof nemesis.

She had a good life and was a good ally in the war on terror.

And with that, it's time to get a puppy. I'm thinking a puggle. My trainer has a puggle puppy named Pippin and it's the cutest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Or maybe I'll just have a baby. Decisions decisions.

poor cat. poor slob. poor slob without a name.

Abigail
4/10/1992 - 6/18/2008

abigail, also fondly known as crabigail, crabby abby, fatass, and Eric Cartman, was run over by a neighbor this morning. I heard the whump and looked up out the window and there was her tiny body writhing in the middle of the street. She died pretty quickly after that, with me crouched over her wailing like a banshee.

She was a rotten little cat. Almost nobody liked her. She was bulimic. She had a bad attitude. She yelled at everyone or at least glared at them. She was rarely affectionate, but then only on her terms when she was. She'd been suffering from mysterious, unfathomable, and expensive ailments for years. She'd never grown her fur back from the last time we shaved her, so she looked ridiculous - all knee high boots and skinny legs.

But god I loved her. I was the only one who did. She was my princess. A most devoted companion for the last 16 years. I think, in the end, she had begun to get pretty sick. And perhaps this was the best way for her to go. But I wish I could get the images out of my head. And I wish I'd never let her out this morning. And I wish when I picked her up this morning and petted her, that I'd held onto her for just a few more minutes.

Goodbye Crabby. You'll always be my cranky little sweetheart.

Stay tuned for more photos

Because I married a photographer, I am not ever in charge of the photographic needs or photographic related services in our household. That means he takes all the pictures and he stores all the photos. What this turns into is 5 years worth of photographs that I've never laid eyes on unless I've gotten fussy and whiny about it.

This is all about to change. I have purchased my very own digital camera. My first. I have not told my husband this yet. But I'm tired of never getting to see photos, never getting to have photos to post on my blog. So things are about to change.

Stay tuned.

I desperately want to blog but I'm trapped under something heavy....

...namely, my schedule.

oog. I started working 4 10-hour days a few weeks ago, and it just been a weird adjustment to it. I've stopped blogging, I've stopped exercising, I've stopped cleaning my house. I feel like i'm just working all the time. The other thing I did was pick up another couple of WW meetings, so that adds several hours of additional work time into my schedule. oof, mama's not used to this shit.

So now i have Fridays off. The first couple of Fridays, I slept almost all day. Last Friday, I sat on the couch all day and read a book on the development of human civilizations from cover to cover (best. fucking. day. ever.).

And plus WE HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN SOME SUN here in the doomy gloomy PNW, so eBoy and I will be spending all day today digging out and setting up a new flower bed in the backyard. I'm very excited because the backyard is FINALLY starting to take some shape after three years of just staring at it and occasionally mowing the lawn.

Work is going well - I've taken over a new caseload and I'm developing a new treatment program for my agency that is sort of a "medium intensity" treatment - focusing on people that have more severe alcohol/drug problems than your average DUII, but don't necessarily warrant three days per week matrix-style treatment designed for meth addicts. it's a nice opportunity to get creative, work in a meaningful way with clients, and stretch my wings a little. On the other hand, I gave my notice at work yesterday. Now, I gave them sixty days notice - and hopefully they won't screw me on that. But the mental health and drug/alcohol business is tough these days. After 7 years of republican rule, states just aren't funding people in to treatment, people can't afford treatment on their own, they don't pay, agencies are flopping up ass over tea kettle here, and everyone's feeling the vice like squeeze of $4.23 per gallon (that's oregon prices, some of the highest in the country, nice). So, my agency is struggling, and watching my bosses go through all sorts of mental gyrations trying to figure out counselor schedules and such was giving me a massive load of guilt - I needed to let them know that they shouldn't expect me to be there after August 7 (woot!) - my director said that he was really thankful that I gave them such advance warning (since it would prevent him from setting me up with 60 new clients only to find out the next day that I was leaving in two weeks - the nightmare scenario I had begun to envision).

Oh yeah, the other thing that happened was that somehow my agency got wind that i had been offered an on-call position at another agency in town - which I had accepted, because I would have it after I left my current agency and was in school. So, i have no idea how they found out, because I hadn't told anybody. But apparently people at the new agency were talking about the fact that I was coming to work for them...and it got back. So my current agency invoked some heretofore unknown non-compete agreement. So, um, okay. It's not a problem because I haven't signed on officially at the new agency yet, and it won't be in effect until I leave my current agency, but it was a very weird conversation. Um, really? You're gossiping with directors of other agencies now about who's coming to work for them?

Anyway, that's the news from Lake Wobegon. I need to go dig up my back yard now. Catch you later.